Written by Jafei Pollitt
DR. PONG - A real catch.
GRACE - Sucks to be her, really.
INT. DOCTORS ROOM - DAY
GRACE sits on an uncomfortable patient's table in a gown. Her hands' sweat and her eyes dart.
There is a knock on the door.
DR. POND
Hello? May I come in?
GRACE
Oh, yeah. Yes.
DR. POND enters with a clipboard and an overenthusiastic smile.
DR. POND
How are we doing today?
GRACE
Good. Not bad. A little nervous I guess.
DR. POND
Oh, nothing to be nervous about.
GRACE
Okay.
DR. PONG
So we ran your blood test last week and I just want to go over the results with you and next steps.
GRACE
Next steps for what?
DR. PONG
Well
(smug laughter)
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.
DR.PONG puts down the clipboard and puts on a pair of latex gloves in the slowest, most aggressive manner.
GRACE
I’m-
DR. PONG
SO, let’s get into it. We ran your blood and you know what happened?
GRACE
Uh, no. I-
DR. PONG
We couldn’t catch it!
DR. PONG’s face freezes in an open smile.
DR. PONG (CONT')
Did ya like that one?
GRACE
Um. Yeah.
DR. PONG
No, but we did run your blood and it looks like you have something in it.
GRACE
Oh, god.
DR. PONG
Yeah, looks like you have just an inch of bone cancer. Just a little, smudge on a glass window of bone cancer. Just a fly on the wall of bone cancer.
GRACE
(Taking deep breathes)
Okay, okay. I can. Wow. Bone cancer?
DR. PONG
Like I said. Barely any.
GRACE
That’s - okay. Treatable?
DR. PONG
Eek. Yeah, so that’s the next step. It's a complicated thing.
GRACE
What?
DR. PONG
It's just a pain to try and “cure” really.
GRACE
Oh my god.
DR. PONG
We do have a solution, however.
GRACE
Chemo? Oh god, I’m going to lose my hair.
DR. PONG
No, no. Nothing that dramatic. We’re going to go right to the source.
GRACE looks on in concern.
DR. PONG
We’re going to remove the bone
GRACE
Oh, um. Okay, yeah I guess if you remove the part of the bone with cancer that would stop the spread. Oh, Jesus. This is too much for me -cancer?
DR. PONG
So, actually, we will be removing 100% of the calcium structure.
GRACE
What’s the calcium structure?
DR. PONG
Bone.
Big beat.
GRACE
I’m confused. 100% of the bone?
DR. PONG
Well, bones. You’ve got multiple - right?
GRACE
Yeah, yeah-
DR. PONG
Let’s get them out a here!
GRACE
This is a lot.
DR. PONG
That’s what my gal pals say when I’m out at the bar with them!
DR. PONG gives another open smile with dead eyes.
DR. PONG (CONT')
Did you like that one?
GRACE
I don’t know.
DR. PONG
Right. Well, this is a lot to process, I understand. But the sooner we get on it - the sooner I can have your bones.
GRACE
Right.
DR. PONG
And of course, by have your bones I mean get you healthy and back to normal.
GRACE grows suspicious.
GRACE
Can I take a look at the chart?
DR. PONG
Unfortunately, another patient vomited on it before I came in here and it’s highly contagious. Especially to someone with bone cancer.
DR. PONG nods their head with concern.
DR. PONG (CONT')
Right - let’s get you all dressed back up and I’ll meet you in the lobby to schedule the de-boning.
GRACE
I - okay.
DR.PONG picks up the chart and opens the door.
DR. PONG
And remember, a second opinion is bad luck for people with bone cancer!
GRACE
Is that a thing?
DR. PONG
It’s okay - you learn that stuff in doctor school. See your bones later! I mean see you later!
DR. PONG leaves. GRACE sits at the table trying to process it. We hear DR.PONG yell from the hallway "BONES!"
END