DYSFUNCTIONAL
Written by Jafei Pollitt
KATY - Job Seeker
MARTINE - Employer
INT. MARTINE’S OFFICE - DAY
MARTINE and KATY sit across from each other. MARTINE holds KATY’s resume and looks it over vigorously.
MARTINE
I mean, this is a great resume and you obviously know what you’re doing. Experience with excel, OfficeSuite, coding, and you speak French!
KATY
Oui
MARTINE
Fantastic! Alright, well here at SocialDot we are a great crew to work with and I think we could really value a new content manager such as yourself. I’ll have to run it up the flag pole, but I think you’ll be an easy yes.
KATY
Wonderful!
MARTINE stands up and KATY follows. MARTINE offers his hand, but she doesn’t take it. He awkwardly puts it back down.
MARTINE
It was great meeting you today Katy and we can’t wait to work with you. I’ll send you an email shortly to discuss the details.
MARTINE rounds the desk and escorts KATY out.
KATY turns back towards MARTINE. She is intensely close to his face.
KATY
One more thing.
MARTINE is taken aback.
MARTINE
Oh-
KATY
I have an injury.
MARTINE
Um - uh, okay.
KATY
It’s been a problem in the past.
MARTINE
With work?
KATY nods her head.
MARTINE
Oh, boy.
(He takes a large step back)
You know, we can discuss it in the email -
KATY
My pinkie bends...wierd.
MARTINE
Really?
KATY
My pinky bends a little bit backwards. I broke it when I was eleven and it’s never been the same since.
MARTINE
Uh... can you still type?
KATY
Barely...Yes.
MARTINE
Okay, well it shouldn’t interfere too badly here -
KATY
(Mumbling)
Like you would know
MARTINE
What’s that?
KATY
It slows me down. It’s my one weakness. I type .05 seconds slower than most people. I’m so sorry, I should have told you as soon as I walked in.
KATY collapses on the floor like a fallen maiden.
MARTINE
Oh god!
(Beat)
I’m a little confused.
KATY
You’re confused? How about little, eleven-year-old Katy trying to figure out WHY god cursed her to have a broken pinkie. Men, all they think about is themselves.
Beat.
MARTINE
Right.
KATY scoffs.
MARTINE
Let's get you up.
MARTINE begins to help KATY off the floor. She takes his hand and pulls it to her face.
KATY
Look, a perfect hand. No joint misplaced - no bone with a fractured past. Nothing holding you back.
MARTINE
Well, I don’t know.
KATY bends each of his fingers forward and then slightly back.
MARTINE
Oh, you don’t need to do that.
She gets to his pinkie.
MARTINE
Just a regular pinkie. Just like everybody else. Why don’t I just get that email out for you right now?
MARTINE attempts to pull his hand away. He’s hiding something.
She takes a beat. She bends it back a little and it goes farther than the others - just like hers.
KATY
Oh my god.
MARTINE
Fuck.
KATY
You - you’re one of us.
MARTINE jerks his hand away.
MARTINE
Okay, YES. I broke it when I was 15 playing volleyball.
KATY
And you kept this from me?
MARTINE
I didn’t think I needed to bring it up!
KATY
What’s you’re name again?
MARTINE
Martine West.
KATY pulls out her phone. She searches high and low for a Martine West on Facebook.
KATY
I don’t remember seeing you at any of the broken pinkie conferences. Nor did I ever approve a Martine West on our Facebook page... you’ve been living off the grid.
MARTINE sits in defeat.
KATY
All alone.
MARTINE
Maybe.
KATY
Like a lost little sheep.
MARTINE
God damnit! I was doing so well.
KATY
There’s a whole community. There’s no reason to be scared.
MARTINE
(Shaking his head)
It’s been too long.
KATY
We know what you’re going through.
MARTINE
Yeah right.
KATY
The pain, the agony, the self-hatred of typing too slow, and never being able to put on gloves correctly the first time.
KATY pulls MARTINES chin up to her face.
MARTINE and KATY look into each other's eyes.
KATY
Okay?
Beat
KATY
Okay.
(pause)
And you’ve got the job.
KATY
Pinkie promise?
MARTINE smirks. They hold out their pinkies and do a pinkie promise, but it looks super weird.
END