DYSFUNCTIONAL

Written by Jafei Pollitt

KATY - Job Seeker

MARTINE - Employer

INT. MARTINE’S OFFICE - DAY


MARTINE and KATY sit across from each other. MARTINE holds KATY’s resume and looks it over vigorously.


MARTINE

I mean, this is a great resume and you obviously know what you’re doing. Experience with excel, OfficeSuite, coding, and you speak French!


KATY

Oui


MARTINE

Fantastic! Alright, well here at SocialDot we are a great crew to work with and I think we could really value a new content manager such as yourself. I’ll have to run it up the flag pole, but I think you’ll be an easy yes.


KATY

Wonderful!


MARTINE stands up and KATY follows. MARTINE offers his hand, but she doesn’t take it. He awkwardly puts it back down.


MARTINE

It was great meeting you today Katy and we can’t wait to work with you. I’ll send you an email shortly to discuss the details.


MARTINE rounds the desk and escorts KATY out.


KATY turns back towards MARTINE. She is intensely close to his face.


KATY

One more thing.


MARTINE is taken aback.

MARTINE

Oh-


KATY

I have an injury.


MARTINE

Um - uh, okay.


KATY

It’s been a problem in the past.


MARTINE

With work?


KATY nods her head.


MARTINE

Oh, boy.

(He takes a large step back)

You know, we can discuss it in the email -


KATY

My pinkie bends...wierd.


MARTINE

Really?


KATY

My pinky bends a little bit backwards. I broke it when I was eleven and it’s never been the same since.


MARTINE

Uh... can you still type?


KATY

Barely...Yes.


MARTINE

Okay, well it shouldn’t interfere too badly here -


KATY

(Mumbling)

Like you would know


MARTINE

What’s that?


KATY

It slows me down. It’s my one weakness. I type .05 seconds slower than most people. I’m so sorry, I should have told you as soon as I walked in.


KATY collapses on the floor like a fallen maiden.


MARTINE

Oh god!

(Beat)

I’m a little confused.


KATY

You’re confused? How about little, eleven-year-old Katy trying to figure out WHY god cursed her to have a broken pinkie. Men, all they think about is themselves.


Beat.


MARTINE

Right.


KATY scoffs.


MARTINE

Let's get you up.

MARTINE begins to help KATY off the floor. She takes his hand and pulls it to her face.


KATY

Look, a perfect hand. No joint misplaced - no bone with a fractured past. Nothing holding you back.


MARTINE

Well, I don’t know.


KATY bends each of his fingers forward and then slightly back.


MARTINE

Oh, you don’t need to do that.

She gets to his pinkie.


MARTINE

Just a regular pinkie. Just like everybody else. Why don’t I just get that email out for you right now?


MARTINE attempts to pull his hand away. He’s hiding something.


She takes a beat. She bends it back a little and it goes farther than the others - just like hers.


KATY

Oh my god.


MARTINE

Fuck.


KATY

You - you’re one of us.


MARTINE jerks his hand away.


MARTINE

Okay, YES. I broke it when I was 15 playing volleyball.


KATY

And you kept this from me?


MARTINE

I didn’t think I needed to bring it up!


KATY

What’s you’re name again?


MARTINE

Martine West.


KATY pulls out her phone. She searches high and low for a Martine West on Facebook.


KATY

I don’t remember seeing you at any of the broken pinkie conferences. Nor did I ever approve a Martine West on our Facebook page... you’ve been living off the grid.


MARTINE sits in defeat.


KATY

All alone.


MARTINE

Maybe.


KATY

Like a lost little sheep.


MARTINE

God damnit! I was doing so well.


KATY

There’s a whole community. There’s no reason to be scared.

MARTINE

(Shaking his head)

It’s been too long.


KATY

We know what you’re going through.


MARTINE

Yeah right.


KATY

The pain, the agony, the self-hatred of typing too slow, and never being able to put on gloves correctly the first time.


KATY pulls MARTINES chin up to her face.


MARTINE and KATY look into each other's eyes.


KATY

Okay?


Beat


KATY

Okay.

(pause)

And you’ve got the job.


KATY

Pinkie promise?


MARTINE smirks. They hold out their pinkies and do a pinkie promise, but it looks super weird.


END


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