Written by Jafei Pollitt
Short - Sweet
Stiff - Not so sweet
EXT. BUS STOP - MORNING
STIFF and SHORT sit at a vacant bus stop. They are a foot apart. STIFF is very rigid and SHORT is very lonely.
SHORT eats an ugly ham sandwich as he waits. STIFF stares forward occasionally shifting in his seat.
SHORT finishes his sandwich and lets out a humongous sigh. STIFF notably ignores him. SHORT clears his throat and pulls out a closed letter. He hands it to STIFF - or tries to and ends up leaving it on his lap.
STIFF very carefully looks down and side-eyes SHORT.
He doesn’t touch it for a very long time. Then he flicks it off his lap like a bug.
STIFF looks on. SHORT stares at the letter on the floor and back up to STIFF. SHORT picks up the letter and leaves it on STIFF’s lap.
STIFF clears his throat and flicks the paper away again. SHORT is baffled. How does this thing keep falling off?
SHORT picks up the letter and begins putting the letter on STIFFs lap. STIFF has his flicking finger ready and immediately sends the paper flying.
SHORT quickly gets the paper and they repeat the process. Pickup, place, flick, pickup, place, flick, pickup, place, flick - pickup, place on STIFFS head. Shock.
STIFF rolls his droopy eyes. He pulls the letter from his head and begins to open it. He smiles wide and looks at SHORT. SHORT smiles back - it’s working! STIFF begins pushing the edge of the envelope open! STIFF almost begins to tear... and then throws the letter into the street. His face resumes monotone annoyance.
SHORT watches the letter fly - he races after it. STIFF’s eyes widen slightly, this guy really is nuts.
SHORT dives into the street and retrieves the letter. He stands up and waves it at SHORT and then spins it towards him like a football.
STIFF acts on his reflexes and catches the letter. Just then the bus is heard honking abruptly and coming right towards SHORT!
SQUASH.
That’s right. We ran SHORT over with a bus.
STIFFS eyes get big. He becomes incredibly STIFF. He looks around.
STIFF looks at the letter. He looks at squashed SHORT.
Pause.
He sighs and opens the letter.
A beat as he reads it. STIFFS mouth twitches here and there.
STIFF gets to the last line and, surprisingly, lets out a short, audible “HAH.”
He closes back up the letter, stands up with his suitcase, then boards the bus.
END