BETH - 25, Has seen plenty of birds.
DAN - 25, Has never seen a bird in his life.
BETH and DAN enter.
BETH and DAN are both dressed for brunch. They quickly walk towards center stage, where there is a sign that says "REAL BIRDS. THIS WAY."
DAN(out of breath)
Beth, Beth, wait up - please.
BETH No, I won't! I can't just sit quietly and do nothing about your predicament.
It's not a predicament! Something of like 10% of Americans go through this.
10% of Americans HAVEN'T SEEN A BIRD?
You say it like it's a bad thing.
How have you not seen a bird?
I don't know! Some people haven't had Mountain Dew Baja Blast, I just haven't seen a bird.