Written By Jafei Pollitt
WEST
RACHAEL
EXT. PARK - DAY
WEST and RACHAEL lay beside each other looking up at the sky.
WEST
That is such a pretty sky.
RACHAEL
Yeah, perfect cloud coverage.
WEST
Amazing, isn’t it?
RACHAEL
Yeah, I just agreed it was.
WEST
That our sky makes that puke green color.
RACHAEL
Mmm. What the fuck?
WEST
I mean, I don’t know where it comes from. Like does it reflect off of all the swamps on earth?
RACHAEL
The sky is blue.
WEST
No, fuck off. Stop it. That’s not funny and I’m not falling for those again.
RACHAEL
West, the sky is blue. I think you might be colorblind.
WEST
No. Tell me that again and I’ll break up with you.
RACHAEL
You don’t have to be defensive about it.
WEST
The sky is puke green, our skin is rotting flesh, and the earth is melting.
RACHAEL
You maybe got one of those things right.
WEST
The earth is a sort of jello mold shape, our parents all call each other every night to say goodbye in case they die, and Santa Claus tried to get me to buy drugs earlier.
RACHAEL
Are you on drugs right now, West?
WEST
(Mocking)
Are you on drugs right now West?
RACHAEL
West-
WEST
You want me to tell Santa no? NO? He had a wreath shaped like a GUN, Rachael. Yeah, I took his drugs.
RACHAEL
Okay. You're probably high.
WEST
No. I’m not high. I’m low. I’m the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m so, so depressed, Rachael. God damnit - help me!
WEST shakes RACHAEL’s shoulders.
RACHAEL
Say the sky is blue.
WEST looks on lost and confused.
WEST
What? No.
RACHAEL
Say the sky is blue and I will help you.
WEST
You want me to go against God?
RACHAEL
God made a blue sky.
WEST
God made me a SAD man.
RACHAEL
Okay, and what do you want me to do about it?
WEST
You are dark, Rachael. You know that?
RACHAEL
I know the sky is blue, you're unemployed, and my mom doesn’t like you that much.
Beat.
WEST
Okay fine.
RACHAEL
What?
WEST
The sky is-
WEST takes a long breathe in.
WEST
The sky is what’s wrong with our relationship.
RACHAEL
Oh, please.
WEST
The sky represents our dynamic. I see the world through a lovely, puke green lense while you insist it is some monstrous pool of “blue skies” and “a happy life.” I don’t think this is going to work, Shannon.
RACHAEL
My name is Rachael.
WEST
The sky is puke green. I cannot change that fact as I can also not change the fact that I am a sad man in his late 20’s with a full head of hair.
RACHAEL
Okay, you know what? I’m going to go home now, West. I hope this puke green world of yours treats you right. Here’s a card for a therapist that I strongly recommend you check out. I’ll probably see you at home later but if I don’t, just stay out of the garbage.
RACHAEL hands him a card.
WEST
Fine. Goodbye. You’ll be missed.
Rachael walks away annoyed.
WEST
(singing)
The world is a large boooger.
WEST pulls out a bag full of mushrooms. He eats the whole thing.
WEST
I love lobster, shit.
END