MARIA and RAY are sitting on a back porch having a drink and chatting as the sun goes down. MARIA drinks some lemonade and RAY sips from a beer that is nearly gone. They sit for a moment, enjoying the summer weather.
MARIA: You know, you know, there are only three things that are constant in my life.
RAY: And what are those three things?
MARIA: Death, taxes, and stealing from Target.
They laugh.
RAY: Every time?
MARIA: I have to steal enough to be worth more than what I would have to pay to bail myself out of jail if I got caught. So yeah, a little bit every time.
RAY: I guess I can excuse it if you’re stealing say, toothpaste.
MARIA: I am.
RAY: Now, people who steal stuff they don’t need just for the thrill of stealing, that’s messed up.
MARIA: Shoplifting can be an addiction just like anything else.
RAY: Oh, so now there’s nothing that’s wrong in the world?
END